Helping A Friend Pray For A Wife

By Racheal Parish
In my waiting, I am to perfect myself for my future mate. Clean out the skeletons in my closet, throw away past baggage (my last three relationships for example), set obtainable goals, steadily climb up in status in my career, be a financial asset instead of a liability to my partner, learn how to cook well, and most of all, continue to be obedient to you and the call you have on my life. 

Dear Lord,

So, today a colleague of mine asked me what prayer can he say to God in order to get a wife. When he asked that question I felt his pain of not being married yet. I started to tell him some books in the Bible he should read. Then, he told me that he wants to be married by the end of the year. Now, I remember having a conversation with him a week ago, and he told me that his family does not want him to move to Germany by himself and that they prefer that he lived with someone while he was there. He’s in the military like me. Hence, his need to be married by the end of the year, so he can live in Germany. Lord, you saw my eyes, they got big.

Lord, it hurt me to know that I am silently praying, many times pleading, that my future husband finds me now, while others take marriage so lightly. For him to consider marriage as an option to move to a certain location is just not right to me. I know you feel me on this one. The very thought of being married consumes every empty space between my thoughts. I compare myself to other women who are married. I compare myself to other single black females my age or older. I’m thinking how come she is married and I am not? Or, why is she not single and will I be like her? Oh, Lord, please do not let me be like her. And, my heart sinks. A lump forms in my throat, and I use every power in me to not cry, because I am suppose to be waiting patiently while your will is done in my life.

I’m thinking how come she is married and I am not? Or, why is she not single and will I be like her?

I am saved Lord. That is not new news to either one of us. I pray every day that your will be done in my life. Openly, I surrender my all to you. I make a point to make it to church every Sunday and Wednesday, I give tithes and offerings, I sow into other people’s lives, and I do not make that much money. Because, it is stated in your word that if I am faithful with the little that I have, you would make me in charge of more, pretty much enlarge my territory. I believe that was from Matthew 25:21. Every choice that I make, whether deemed good or bad, I know you are still in control of my life. You will lead me to the path you would like me to be on. But, of course, it will be because of my “not so good” choices as to why it takes me longer to get to my destination. We both know that is another letter for another day. So, I ask myself, why, if I know that no matter what I do, I will have the victory in the end, do I get so bent out of shape, insecure or plain depressed when I think about not being someone’s wife and mother? 

Dr. Cindy Trimm said in a sermon that I watched on YouTube, at the Women on The Frontline conference, that unbelief is not what hinders Christians, but fear. We allow fear to choke the life out of us. Fear is the result of ignorance in a certain area. Many of us do not know the outcome of a situation and become fearful. So, another question I ask myself. Why do I fear being single, and who even said I would be single until I die? I don’t remember you telling me that. And, just because the woman standing next to me is 40 years old and has never married, does not mean that will be my case. But, even with that said Lord, you know my heart yearns to be loved by and to love someone in the physical.

In my waiting, I am to perfect myself for my future mate. Clean out the skeletons in my closet, throw away past baggage (my last three relationships for example).

You know what is a little confusing to me Lord, 1 Corinthians 7. There is this whole chapter about marriage, which Paul states he believes it is better to be single than married. And, the interesting thing is earlier today I asked my friend how was married life, and she said mediocre at best. That surely did take me back a bit. She has only been married for what two years. But, she and so many other women I have talked to do not have anything nice to say about marriage. So, Lord, you know I am thinking they did not marry the man you had designed for them. Or, maybe they were not to be married at all. Like the women who were married and got a divorce, and were extremely happy about it; stating they will never get married again. They sound like Paul to me. On the other hand Lord, I see my parents. They love you and they love each other. They pray together, they are involved in the church, they are always having a good time with each other. My mentor and her husband are the perfect image of true love; next to your love of course. Single people want to be married and many married people want to be single. And, if many of us were created with a calling that does not include being married, then why do we have the burning desire to be married? Lord, what in the world is going on with situation?

I know that being single I can pray and praise you any way I want, at any time I want, for as long as I want, because it is only me in my apartment. You know Lord I do a lot of shouting, dancing and speaking in tongues when I really get wrapped up in you. I am in constant communication with you, because I am always praying that you allow my mister perfect for me to come find me and sweep me off my feet into comfort, joy and laughter. I know, I know, it is not all peaches and cream all of the time…I’m just saying. But, again with all that said, I exhaust my mind sometimes thinking about how I want to be married now.

Isaiah 40:29-31 states, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and never faint. So, with that said, I am suppose to be getting stronger as I wait on you to determine if I can be married or not. 

In my waiting, I am to perfect myself for my future mate. Clean out the skeletons in my closet, throw away past baggage (my last three relationships for example), set obtainable goals, steadily climb up in status in my career, be a financial asset instead of a liability to my partner, learn how to cook well, and most of all, continue to be obedient to you and the call you have on my life. 

Continue to pray on a regular basis. 

Continue to be a disciple of the nations as you commanded in Matthew 28:19. I know that when I keep you and your kingdom first in my life, you will add all the other things to it. Matthew 6:33. 

Right now, Lord, help me to be fully content in our love relationship. Allow me to experience what it is like to be in love with someone who died for my transgressions. Give you the opportunity to pamper me with joy and pleasure that goes beyond what this world can offer me. Allow me to learn what it really means to love and be loved unconditionally. Lord, if I cannot be fully content with you and your love for me, how can I be content in loving or being loved by a man? I don’t want risk prolonging my desire to be married, so I will stick to the plan you have for me. I so love that scripture Jeremiah 29:11; it does give me hope for a brighter future.

Thanks again for listening Lord. I love you. Good night.