Interview with Mrs Julie Akhimien- Blessed With A Child After 20 Solid Years.
This couple believed God for 20 years to have their own child. It was indeed a journey of faith. The God that came through for them will meet you at your point of need.
RR: Tell us about yourself.
I am Rev. Mrs. Julie Akhimien, the Auntie Julie as seen in the “Issues of the heart” column in Real Relationships magazine. I have featured since inception, I count this a great privilege and a venture worth investing in. I am happily married to Rev. Dr. Festus Akhimien the Administrator General of the Word of Faith Group of Schools, a Private Christian School in Nigeria which is an arm of the Church of God Mission Int’l . The school is committed to the development of the total Child; we believe every child can learn so, in our school, no child is left behind. We are committed to developing leaders for the future as we combine academic excellence with godliness. My husband and I are blessed with a miracle baby boy, Master Samuel Eloghosa Osahon Testimony Festus- Akhimien, born in the twentieth year of our marriage. We are gladly enjoying the privileges of being parents. Praise God.
RR: When you were courting did you talk about family? How many children did you initially plan on having?
Yes, we did talk about family during our courtship, in fact, we talked about everything worth talking about and we planned on having four children.
RR: Were there pressures from friends and family on the issue of childlessness? How did you cope?
Let us call them concerns not pressures. This was to be expected quite understandably. No one would expect less knowing the sort of settings we have in our African culture. Once you get married, everyone expects you to have children at the count of nine months or at the most a year, but it does not always work like that!
RR: Truthfully, tell us did u ever think of remarrying, going to a traditional doctor, adoption?
Remarrying was never an option, going to a traditional doctor not in the least. Adoption? Yes! Concerned friends advised on adopting a child considering that with a child in the home, the chances of getting pregnant was more likely but to be candid, we did not receive any such instructions from God. We were more concerned with what God was saying. He told us in Isaiah 30:21 ‘And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, this is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left’. So, as far as adoption was concerned, we needed to be sure what God wanted us to do. The more we thought about it, the more silent God was, so we discarded the idea trusting that one day, God will make good His promise and He did. God does not break His covenant. Psalms 89:34.
RR: Did you try in-vitro fertilization or any of the modern alternative methods of conception?
We had several IVF attempts. I must say here that having gone through this experience, it is important for people to know that the power to conceive comes only from God no matter what medical attempts one goes through. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 9:11 “... that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all”. Only God and He alone can make babies. It is His exclusive right. No wonder the Bible says, ‘Children are God’s heritage and the fruit of the womb His reward’, how true.
We had several IVF attempts. I must say here that having gone through this experience, it is important for people to know that the power to conceive comes only from God no matter what medical attempts one goes through. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 9:11 “... that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all”. Only God and He alone can make babies. It is His exclusive right. No wonder the Bible says, ‘Children are God’s heritage and the fruit of the womb His reward’, how true.
We had several IVF attempts. I must say here that having gone through this experience, it is important for people to know that the power to conceive comes only from God no matter what medical attempts one goes through. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 9:11 “... that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all”. Only God and He alone can make babies. It is His exclusive right. No wonder the Bible says, ‘Children are God’s heritage and the fruit of the womb His reward’, how true.
RR: If yes, how was that for you if No why? It is presently an ethical debate among Christian what is your stand.
Each attempt for us was a ‘roller coaster ‘experience, you can hardly find words to describe the anxiety, emotional trauma, and psychological effect to mention a few. The challenges’ were so many, only God saw us through. I believe that no man can receive anything except it be given to him from heaven. John 3:27. Only God can give children and He gives to all men liberally. Medical science is a plus to our world and it must not be disregarded. It takes God to have a successful IVF treatment.
RR: Did it affect your ministry/ personal Christian life? Did you feel like God had rejected you?
No, we know that He is not slack concerning His promises... 2Peter 3:9. We had questions on our minds and we never stopped asking God. Funny enough, He always answers us as promptly as the questions are asked. “I will do it but in my time”. Ecc.3:11. That was one regular answer we got. This challenge did not affect our ministry as per the discharge of our God given duties because we were resolute about serving God; we were determined to look up to Him for life, putting smiles on people’s faces and impacting lives for good because our God is good. You could hardly tell if you did not know us so well, that we were going through this challenge. You know, sometimes some people have wondered aloud whether we feel the pain of waiting to have a child. Only the grace of God could have made that possible and we remain eternally grateful to Him. You need to read our book ‘The Impossible is possible-soaring above life challenges.
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I mean, waiting to have a child was just one aspect of our lives, there are a million and one things God has done and is still doing for and through our lives so, why give up? Please understand me here, there were days and months we felt so overwhelmed by this challenge but God always has a way of reassuring us, so we kept hope alive. He told us in Psalm 30:5 ‘... weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning’. Every opportunity we had to serve in the vineyard, we maximized it; we helped one another to stir up faith. I must say here that my husband did more of this to me than I did to him, I mean, encouraging me and helping me come to terms with fixing my eyes on God. He is a man of God I respect so much and I can never stop thanking God for his rewarding life. Never seen a man so determined to show forth God’s glory in his life. Committed and dedicated to the core. He is so focused. Couples need to know that they are in this together. My husband kept giving me that assurance. There was not a day, not an hour, not a minute, not a second I felt he was drifting away from our first love, he did everything humanly possible to make me feel we were together in this challenge. Consequently, I was able to face it and kept my shoulders high above the ‘look’ of ridicule and God gave me this wonderful smile that nothing could mar.
We never felt God has abandoned us we just wondered why it was taking so long especially as there were many things we did not even ask for but He did them anyway. We never doubted His love for us, it was too glaring for all to see. We knew we are a favoured duo, we knew God was at work in us, we knew there was an end to this challenge and today, we can only lift up our voice as one to thank our God of great surprises, the one who is a rewarder of all who diligently seek Him, He makes and not mar people, He repairs and refines, He uplifts and uphold, He is forever faithful. He deserves all the glory.
RR: What is your advice for couples going through the same thing?
Our advice is that they keep hope alive, never give up and seek advice both medically and in faith. The place of prayer can never be over emphasized. The word of God is a mighty tool at the disposal of everyone who truly believes. God is bound by His word, so much so that He exalts it above His name. Psalm 138:2. They must be certain about what God said and is saying to them. It does not matter what anyone else is saying, God truly has the final say and if He says it, believe it and it is settled. With God, saying is the same as doing. His promises are yea and amen. He is big, strong and reliable. Keep your eyes on Him and stick together. It is in unity you can stand and achieve your dream. Quitters don’t win and winners don’t quit. Our prayer is that God will come through for you in no distant time. We will be glad to be a part of your success story. Lamentation 3:25”The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh Him”.
RR: Did you experience stigmatization?
None that I know of. I think it is more of what you allow to get to you. If you allow yourself to be so treated then you would be but if people see you well and above and on top of the situation, they soon change their minds, it’s all about what you permit. For me, having to face this challenge was already ‘a plate too full’ why would I allow people’s opinion add to that plate? Never! I told myself, ‘as long as I still have life, the story has not ended’, and I was so sure the story would end well. This is just the beginning.
RR: Tell us about your son.
Oh my God! He is adorable, just like his father, everything a parent could ask for and much more. He has this captivating smile that is all so unique. You could tell by just looking at him that God truly took time to bring forth such an awesome work of grace. He is a testimony and the joy he brings to our hearts and lives everyday can never be quantified nor described, we just have never and will never stop thanking God for such an inestimable gift of love. In addition to the gift of salvation, Samuel Eloghosa Testimony Osahon Ilerioluwakinye Festus-Great Akhimien, is God’s wonderful love displayed for us to handle. We cannot thank Him enough, not if we had a million tongues. ‘God is good and His mercies endures forever’ is enough summary of our whole experience
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It has been wonderful in every sense of the word. We believe that parenting is a privilege and not a right. Our son has kept us joyfully busy and we love every experience of it. Each day comes with a new and pleasant surprise. It is so exciting watching him grow gracefully, respond to our voice and give a smile so reassuringly. It is like saying, ‘I know am safe here in your hands’. God is so good. We just marvel at the awesome confidence God has in us to entrust such a lovely gift to us and by His grace, we will not betray that trust. We promise to nurture him the way God has mandated us and show him the path of life in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. This child will serve God and love Him with all his heart, he will fulfil destiny and his generation will feel his impact to the glory of God.
RR: Do you plan on more?
Why not if so? Yes, we desire more children. Didn’t the Bible say happy is the man who has his quiver full of them? Samuel will not be a lone child, he’ll sure have siblings, the God we serve is a God of ‘more than enough’, we trust Him for more.
RR: Why do you think God allowed you to go through these years of childlessness?
Certainly God allowed us to pass through this experience for His glory, I suppose He wanted to make a statement with our lives and to say the least, He did not need our permission. We are the sheep of His pasture, He made us, and we belong to Him so He would do what pleases Him in and through our lives. What is important is that we do not lose focus but keep our gaze on Him to the extent that even when we do not see His hands, we can trust His heart and know that He has good plans and thoughts towards us. Jeremiah 29:11.
RR: Did you ever get content with not having children or did you think that God's will was for you not to have children?
We were never contented with not having children. We trusted God every month of those waiting years that one day we would have a positive pregnancy test and that day truly came. There were times when we were tempted to think it might be God’s will for us to be childless but that thought never stayed. There was always this reassurance that we would have children, so each time we get to the end of the rope when we are tempted to let go, courage will surge up to make us tie the knot and stay there rather than letting go.
RR: How did it affect your love life?
Like I said before, this experience drew us closer because we were resolute about not letting it tear us apart knowing that we were in it together. We drew strength from God and friends for one another and our love only got deeper than when we first began. Today, we are better for it and we encourage couples to stick together through thick and thin. Commitment to one another is an imperative parameter to coming out victorious in the challenges of life.
RR: When you first realized you were pregnant, were you scared to tell anyone in the fear that you might lose the child?
Not scared, we just wanted to be sure and very sure that we were letting out the news with enough authenticity because there were so many people, friends and loved ones who we know are very sentimental about our matter or rather anything that concerns us. We also knew that it would not be fair to get them unnecessarily worked up with some news that we would recall, so we wanted to be very sure before letting out the news. This sort of news was too good to keep to oneself, we wanted to shout out on the roof top but had to exercise caution because of the sensitivity of the matter not because we were scared we would lose the child, no. We knew too well that what God does is forever, He has no abandoned project and His blessings only make rich, no sorrows added.
RR: How did you deal with mothers and fathers day?
You mean while we were waiting? Of course we celebrated those days as though there were children around our table, one would think we were living in denial but not so, rather, we were celebrating in faith, calling those things that be not as though they were. Romans 4:17. Just recently, I came across the text message I sent to my husband on one of those days, I think it was Fathers ‘day of 2007, where I wrote something as though it was our son sending the message to his father. You can only imagine how delighted I was to see those words come alive in that text while holding our son in my hands. It pays to trust Jesus, I speak from my heart.
RR: What was your first emotion when you realized you were pregnant? Fear, joy or a mixture of both?
Gratitude to God, relief that this burden was being lifted, joy that we would be parents after all, uncertainty as if it might not be true. The sure summary is in Psalm 126: 1-3. A miracle that looks like a dream.
RR: Before marriage, did you plan on waiting before having children?
No, not for twenty years!
RR: How did you deal with baby dedications and naming ceremonies? Were you ever not invited because church members were trying to be considerate of your feelings?
Those were ceremonies we could not avoid especially because we are ministers, we always have to officiate in one way or the other, even if people felt for us, they could not excuse us from carrying out our God given assignment and for me as a worker in the Children’s department, there was no way I could possibly separate myself from children, they were always around me and I love being with them. My passion is with children and I go for them anywhere they are. Each time we go for naming or dedication of babies, we also tell ourselves it will be our turn someday. I have a vibrant Good news Bible Club at our home every Sunday, I see the children happy and I tell myself, one day, our child/children would be part of the club. Today, when I teach the children with Samuel in my hand, I just smile, a ‘thank you smile’, to God.
RR: How did you deal with issues that arose in your marriage as a result?
To be candid, there were no issues. The word of God was and is still our greatest weapon coupled with prayers. Once our eyes were fixed on Him, we could sail through the storm, God never left us comfortless.
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We fasted and prayed, went for medical check up and treatments, sought counsel, sowed seed faith, went on retreats, alone with God, just the two of us, maximized every opportunity to bless people, casting our bread upon the waters, kept hope alive and believed God beyond every reasonable and unreasonable doubt. It took as long as we had to wait, like Job said, until our change came.
RR: What is your advice for thousands going through similar situations in their marriage?
Trust God and never lose hope, keep hope alive and ask Him to show you the way of escape He has planned for you. Remember, you matter to Him and He wants your story to end well. We pray that your testimony will come sooner than you expect in Jesus Name, amen. God told us He is Able, Willing and Ready to help all who look up to Him. So keep looking up to Him.
The Impossible Is Possible With Him - A must read book by Festus and Julie
Akhimien.
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Inspired and very interesting....
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Inspired and very interesting...
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